麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分 19号就考了小作文,剑5 Test2 Task 1Illustrated are two column graphs, showing the two reasons for learning among students of five age groups (under 26-over 49) and the support situation by employ

麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分 19号就考了小作文,剑5 Test2 Task 1Illustrated are two column graphs, showing the two reasons for learning among students of five age groups (under 26-over 49) and the support situation by employ
麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分 19号就考了
小作文,剑5 Test2 Task 1
Illustrated are two column graphs, showing the two reasons for learning among students of five age groups (under 26-over 49) and the support situation by employers.
It shows a moderately decline of students which study for career with age. There are 80% students (under 26 yr olds) that learning for career which is approximately four times than the students over 49 yr olds. However, with the increase of age, the trends of students that study for interest describe a colossal rise, from a paltry 10% (under 26) to a tremendous 70% (over 49). Coincidently, in the age group 40-49, both of the two reasons are account for 40% of total.
When it refers to the proportion of employer support, it drops from the acme at hefty 62% in the group (under 26) to the rock bottom at a meagre 32% (30-39), which is ahead of a bounce.
Most important of all, if the two charts are considered as a total, readers may find that the high percentage of students (for career) in the age group (under 26) is entwined with strong employer support.

麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分 19号就考了小作文,剑5 Test2 Task 1Illustrated are two column graphs, showing the two reasons for learning among students of five age groups (under 26-over 49) and the support situation by employ
哈,不错哦!希望你能得满分!

还可以八十九昨右...

9.5分

1. 大约5.5-6.0分的样子吧。
2. 不能说support situation， the employer support 就好了。
As illustrated in the graph, the learning objectives and employer support vary a lot for the five age groups.....
介绍得更...

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1. 大约5.5-6.0分的样子吧。
2. 不能说support situation， the employer support 就好了。
As illustrated in the graph, the learning objectives and employer support vary a lot for the five age groups.....
介绍得更有序些。先summary statement --> 再论证
举个例子。
One trend is demonstrated in the data, i.e. age differences place an impact on the purpose for learning. Young generation tend to learn for career development, while adults are more likely to learn for their personal interests. 然后再用你第二段的数据来支持 Eighty percent of students under age 26 are found to learn for professional development, while only about 20 percent of their counterparts over age 49 learn for individual interests.
句式和用词尽量丰富些

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