英语日记好心人帮忙改下.Last month,i travelled to QingYuan province,this city is very beautiful.it is famous for hotspring and rafting and have a various of delicious food.we want to take a risk firstly. so we decided to go water rafting.wh

英语日记好心人帮忙改下.Last month,i travelled to QingYuan province,this city is very beautiful.it is famous for hotspring and rafting and have a various of delicious food.we want to take a risk firstly. so we decided to go water rafting.wh
英语日记好心人帮忙改下.
Last month,i travelled to QingYuan province,this city is very beautiful.it is famous for hotspring and rafting and have a various of delicious food.
we want to take a risk firstly. so we decided to go water rafting.when we arrived to the most famous rafting place called XuanZhen, it had had a lot of people waited in line. After ten minutes,a bus took us to the tip mountain,it is the rafting source.we put on the air jacket and other safety.with excited mood we were set out.OH,it was so irritative.our raft run very fast and hit the rock ceaseless.the river has a lot of fall and when the raft rushed down the fall, we were almost got into the underwater.our clothes were wet completely.but we were so happy,cheered loudly.in the middle of the river,there was a flat water area.our raft got together.itwas so funny,some people used their helmet to fill with water and fighted the other people.what a exciting it was.we all enjoy this fight.
after one hour ,we finished the imposing trip.
英语初级者,已经尽力了.请帮忙提高

英语日记好心人帮忙改下.Last month,i travelled to QingYuan province,this city is very beautiful.it is famous for hotspring and rafting and have a various of delicious food.we want to take a risk firstly. so we decided to go water rafting.wh
1.QingYuan province是哪个省啊?
2.第句中"this city" 是怎么来的啊?开始不是"province"么
3."it is famous for hotspring and rafting and have a various of delicious food."前后不照应了应改为 "it is famous for hotspring ,rafting and various of delicious food."
4.take a risk 是冒险的意思,用在此处不合适,
5.called不要就可以了.
6.a lot people had been waiting there.
7.山顶是" the top of the mountain"
8.it is the rafting source是什么意思,我没看动
9."and other safety"后加上 equipment
10.we set out very exciting
11.ceaseless的主语一般为人,改为occasionally或now and then
12.the river has a lot of falls
13.此处要表示我们几乎跌进水里了用we almost crash into the water
14.so一般和that连用此处应为we were very happy and cheered loudly
15.it was so fanny that some people.
16.fighted with others
17.How exciting it was!
18.imposing 我还没学,不过应该不常用的,不知道这里合不适合适
只能改这么多了,楼主别伤心啊,多看看别人写的好的范文,最好以英语为母语的人写的.
有别的问题找我吧,我是学英语的,嘿嘿